Stuff I Hear @College…

As you all know, I am not much of a talker. I don’t really like to talk nor do I do it too often, a benefit of that is that I get to hear a lot of things, very interesting things.  Here is a list of the some of the things I hear at Swarthmore, that I just haven’t had the privilege of hearing in my high schools in Walnut.

1.) “OMG, its 60 degrees out! It’s so warm today.”

2.) “Look! it’s the sun.” (And I came here with the thought that “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”)

3.) “I totally just failed that!” (ok tbh, I hear that at Walnut all the time, nothing has changed)

4.) “Wow, everyone on this campus is so attractive, I don’t know if I belong here or not” (ok, no one says that)

5.) “Do you wanna come over and study with me?” (like what does that even mean, never heard it before)

6.) “A: I haven’t slept in 4 days! B: I haven’t slept this whole semester!”

7.) “I was in Sharples the whole day” (like why?)

8.) “I have no friends!” (yeah, not with that attitude)

9.) “Sharples dining is just too good, I am really gonna miss it when I eventually graduate.”

10.) “DU parties are so sick, I am gonna go work at BlackWater and come back to party here when I am in my 30s.” (and it won’t be awkward at all)

11.) “Let’s get fuck’d up!!” (definitely have never heard that before, what does it even mean?)

12.) “Solid night, bro” (is there like a liquid or gas night?)

13.) “I am from Jersey, not the shore”

14.) “What’s your gender pronoun preference?” (definitely a new one but I like it, FYI you can just call me Jerry or Gerbear)

15.) “Do you identify as Asian?” (I really don’t have a lot of choices, do I ?)

16.) “Do you like this college?” (I mean I have only been to one college, and this is that one)

17.) “How did you get into Swarthmore?” (idk, I asked politely)

18.) “Where are you from? Where are your parents from?” (are we arranging marriages here?)

19.) “Oh sorry I can’t go, I have office hrs” (1st time I heard that term)

20.) “You are not bisexual, I think you are pansexual.” (what does that even mean?)
21.)” Yo, that shit Heteronormative bro”

To be cont’d

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