On Nice Guys and How to Break the Friendzone

Are you a nice guy? Do you suffer from being relegated to the friend-zone, every… single…time? You know, like that one time with that girl who you really liked but rejected you only to go out with some Ivy league protein powder addict who really didn’t care about her the way you did. He really isn’t her type and you somehow just know it.  But girls always seem to fall for those guys. Maybe nice guys really do finish last.

Hold up, I think there is a little problem here.

So as self-proclaimed “nice-guys”, y’all think that just because you spend time listening to her troubles, ask her about how she is feeling occasionally, and is there for her when she needs you warrants an escalation into a serious relationship? Well, if that was the case, then every true friend who has ever cared for and dedicated their time to you must have been in a relationship with you too. Wow, you must have been active. God forbid that a girl enjoys your friendship, but does not want to have sex with you.

But that one time though, when she was really drunk at the party and you walk her back all the way across campus back to her dorm without even thinking about making a move on her. Nope, you didn’t even think about it. So are you suppose to be rewarded now for not committing sexual assault? There is a reward for that, it’s called not being in prison.

The real issue of being a “nice-guy” lies with your mind., A mind full of unreasonable expectations, sexual manipulation, and a skewed view of what friendship and human interaction really means can be a real problem. We treat others with dignity, respect  and honor not because we want something in return from them. This is not a transaction of assets. What being friend-zoned is is really an illustration of cause of effect, how skewed expectations and thoughts can affect our intentions and actions, and how those actions when met with unexpected results can lead us to feel very negatively about ourselves, or “friend-zoned”.

So how can you nice guys break through this friend-zone? By becoming genuinely interested in other people. Don’t get ahead of yourselves with unwarranted expectations. Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely. Give honest appreciation. Treat people with the dignity and respect that every living being deserves. Do that, and soon you will be breaking down more than just friend zones.

Chinese Wisdom: Your Body is the Universe

One of the new ways I will be sharing my experiences in China with you all is through the discussion of some of the “Chinese Wisdom” I am currently learning to understand and appreciate. For those of you who are Asian, these might sound “remotely” familiar to the “Confucius Says” jokes or even “rants” by your Asian parents and relative. I just hope that doesn’t get in the way of you enjoying my posts and trying to pry open the vault of wisdom it holds.

One of the first concept I learned from Chinese Medicine after I got injured at Shaolin was the intimate relationship with natural universe and our bodies. All the laws of the universe, from it’s patterns of growth to the Circadian rhythms of plants, are all exemplified in the human body in ways both obvious and unfathomable. Like nature, our body takes time to change such as growth in height and of body hair, but change is also happening constantly in our body such as when we produce proteins and renew enzymes every single second. The constant state of change and activity is one of the principle similarities, another is the balance of opposite, the Yin and Yang. Just as our bodies are constantly growing and changing, it is also constantly decaying and dying. For every new cell generated, waste of the dead ones must be transported out of the body, it is always working and striving for a state of balance.

Whenever one has a question about life or about the world around him, one has to look no further than ones own body, because all the answers to questions of philosophical depths to cutting edge science can be answered by observing and understanding our own bodies. Whether you believe that we are creations of Gods or a product of time and constant change, our body is the most intricate and enigmatic object known to man. Even the most advanced computing technology of today is no match for the human brain, a mere part of the human body, though a very important part. Until the day of Singularity comes, when Artificial Technology can reach the same efficiency of human thinking, I firmly believe that all the questions we have today (from chemistry to physics to psychology to math to even bio-fuel) can be answered by further researching and analyzing the human body.

That is how great I think our body is, which is also my reason for respecting all human beings no matter their background, ethnicity  sexual choices, income, education, or personal belief. Because I believe the human body is absolutely wonderful and beautiful, almost as beautiful as the human soul. So the next you disrespect someone, think of it as disrespecting yourself,  because respecting yourself and your body means respecting others who share the same human body.