Are you a nice guy? Do you suffer from being relegated to the friend-zone, every… single…time? You know, like that one time with that girl who you really liked but rejected you only to go out with some Ivy league protein powder addict who really didn’t care about her the way you did. He really isn’t her type and you somehow just know it. But girls always seem to fall for those guys. Maybe nice guys really do finish last.
Hold up, I think there is a little problem here.
So as self-proclaimed “nice-guys”, y’all think that just because you spend time listening to her troubles, ask her about how she is feeling occasionally, and is there for her when she needs you warrants an escalation into a serious relationship? Well, if that was the case, then every true friend who has ever cared for and dedicated their time to you must have been in a relationship with you too. Wow, you must have been active. God forbid that a girl enjoys your friendship, but does not want to have sex with you.
But that one time though, when she was really drunk at the party and you walk her back all the way across campus back to her dorm without even thinking about making a move on her. Nope, you didn’t even think about it. So are you suppose to be rewarded now for not committing sexual assault? There is a reward for that, it’s called not being in prison.
The real issue of being a “nice-guy” lies with your mind., A mind full of unreasonable expectations, sexual manipulation, and a skewed view of what friendship and human interaction really means can be a real problem. We treat others with dignity, respect and honor not because we want something in return from them. This is not a transaction of assets. What being friend-zoned is is really an illustration of cause of effect, how skewed expectations and thoughts can affect our intentions and actions, and how those actions when met with unexpected results can lead us to feel very negatively about ourselves, or “friend-zoned”.
So how can you nice guys break through this friend-zone? By becoming genuinely interested in other people. Don’t get ahead of yourselves with unwarranted expectations. Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely. Give honest appreciation. Treat people with the dignity and respect that every living being deserves. Do that, and soon you will be breaking down more than just friend zones.